It's official folks!

I know a lot of people are thinking that I'm crazy, but.....drum roll....we decided that it was time for me to quit my teaching job at the school. 

I've been the luckiest woman on the face of the plant with my job (where I was working as an Instructional Aide at Hillcrest Elementary.....basically, I was teaching the reading power hour groups) where I've been for the last year a half, except for summer break.  The teachers and staff are amazing people who care a great deal for each other and especially for their students on levels that you'd never realize if your only work experience was in offices/stores/etc.  The levels of support that are freely given to each other there are quite enough, but then there are the kids who drive you bananas at the same time as charm you into doing pretty much anything for them.  I've learned sooo much about how education works now (especially compared to when I was growing up) and amazing ways to help my own kids through this job, but even more: I've learned what it means to work with people who are willing to sacrifice most anything (including their own peace of mind and health at times much less financial security for themselves and likely their families) to help people, especially children, to reach for their own potential....and even more to begin to see that what they assume is their potential is so much more beyond what they ever could have realized.  (I know a lot of people who read this will likely assume that I'm exaggerating.....I really am not.  When you see a light bulb go off in a child's head and their eyes light up realizing that they CAN do whatever is being presented to them and that they have so much more they can do besides, you literally see their potential growing along with their understanding.)  On top of that, the school where I've been working is filled with people that it has been my privilege to call not just co-worker but friend. People who will jump up with a smile to help if your car is giving you fits, discuss ways not only to help your students or theirs but also your own kids of all ages, bringing you sugar to boost a low moment or just a joke to brighten a frustrating day,....I kid you not, these people are some of the absolute best out there.

So why am I leaving all that behind?  Well, as much as I've loved and adored my job....we aren't able to grow financially the way our family needs us to if we just stay where we are.  Our business has been growing a great deal, enough so that I'm left confident in being able to replace the paycheck I have been earning at the school with the profits from sales within the business especially once we get to the farmer's market season.....but that takes a great deal more time than most people realize. 

Last fall, I experienced a hard lesson in how to not only say "No" but to tell myself "Enough" (yep, let's just say that going through regular times of no sleep followed by 3 days of no sleep which led me to nearly messing up my own son's baptism.....that is what I'm talking about) and that it is ok.  That was also a point where I looked at my children playing and working together and realized....they have actually been taking on the things that I as Mom am supposed to be doing without any of us realizing it.  That was the "ENOUGH" moment.  The only question left was "How?".

By the time Christmas Break came, John and I were both pretty convinced that we were facing the need to make a choice between my keeping my job at the school or keeping our business open.  One or the other was going to have to go, and then business picked up even more.  Don't get me wrong, we are still not anywhere close to rolling in the dough, but with the increases in traffic, special requests that keep coming from different quarters, and new opportunities being opened.....yeah, there just wasn't enough time in the day for all of that, keeping up with house, home, and family, AND working at the school.  When Christmas Break ended and I went back to school....we'll just say that all the prepping in the world during the holidays and long weekends were NOT going to be enough time to keep up.  Then, the weekend before school started, we found out that if I were careful about the timing I'd be able to take a business associates certification program through a local tech college that I'd be able to have finished before school starts in the Fall....IF I started by the end of February.  That was the final straw (if you think I was going bonkers being behind with teaching and doing the business, can you imagine how bad it would be if I added college to that?!).  So, a few days after going back to school and sorting out different schedule changes that were coming, I handed in my resignation that would be effective when the reading groups changed.  That means....as of two days ago, I no longer work at Hillcrest Elementary.

Whoa, actually writing that is surprisingly gut-wrenching.  If you can't tell from the words I'm typing in here, I'm blubbering like a baby thinking about how much I'm going to miss my job, my students, and my co-workers.  Yet I'm also looking forward to tomorrow and implementing all the changes that we have in front of us.  It is a kind of relief that....well, let me describe it this way: you know how cozy a room can be during the winter months, yet as the world edge towards spring that coziness becomes almost suffocating until a slight breeze blows through a room?  Not enough to chill, mind you, just enough to make everything fresh and comfortable again.  In a lot of ways, that is a lot like how this has been for me.  Just like how that breeze makes it possible to breathe again, inspite of the brief chill, it brings with it a particular kind of relief that makes everything rosy and exciting again.  Changes come, and if we don't adapt and change with them then we stagnate and turn to a dusty pillar blown away by the wind.

It reminds me a bit of the story of Lehi and Nephi from the Book of Mormon.  They were in a place they not only knew, but were extremely comfortable and happy in.  Their home was very comfortable, they were wealthy, had a great many friends and loved ones around them, and they had a great deal of respect as well.  But a great change was coming, and they were told to leave it all behind.  So, even though like Noah and Lot, they packed their things and slipped away from all that had made their lives so comfortable guided in a way that led them into the complete unknown but protected and with a tremendous blessing just waiting for them once they followed instructions, kept the faith, and continued putting one step in front of the other.  As they took those steps, instruction came to them as to how to fill their needs.  As they followed those instructions, the means to follow instructions came.  And as those means were used appropriately, their journey led them to a treasured and priceless land so filled with promise.  Now, that's not to say that once they reached that land they lived happily ever after.  Quite to the contrary, especially for those who refused to obey any longer.  Yet, for both those who continued to live in obedience AND for those who decided that they were finished with obedience, they had escaped a disaster that they were not even aware of and were free completely.  That which they'd left behind was replaced and added to, and their descendants reaped the rewards of such action.  And much like in the story of Lot from the Bible if they'd looked back and returned to their home before all the hard work as Lot's wife did when she turned to a pillar of salt which would have been blown away by the wind and sand, they'd have been blown away by the winds of fate as their home was taken in war in which case they'd likely have been slain or enslaved and not had any descendants nor anything to give them if they'd been fortunate enough for such.

Now, I'm not saying that we're headed for a great promised land....but in a way, whenever you go towards what God has in store for you then you are heading towards that promised land.  That land is not always filled with great honor and respect which you will be able to revel it, and it may not be filled with fluffy security blankets to cocoon yourself in, and it likely isn't filled with great heaping mounds of money to roll in and throw in the air....but a life of peace, family, love, and freedom - yeah, that is worth all the sacrifice.  That doesn't mean that you don't think about happy times from the past but it does mean moving forward, one step at a time. 

So I guess this is one of my steps forward, a little at a time.  I guess we'll see where we go from here, but it will be filled with grand blessings...of that I am sure.