A Day for Giving Thanks

(This is an incredibly long post, something very filled with emotion, so if you do not want to read this please just skip it entirely!)

This year, the title "Thanksgiving" has taken on a whole new meaning for today's holiday...

When my husband and I were married, like most everyone else I married a man with an interesting family full of different dynamics and characteristics....and characters, many of whom I had admired for years (since we both graduated from the same high schools, I had gotten to know them in varying degrees and in different ways as some of them we went to school with as well).  One in particular was his step-mother's mom, who had just enfolded the 2 additional grandchildren that were added to the family when my husband's parents were married.  This was something that pretty much the entire family proceeded to do, following her lead, and then extended to include me.

After our wedding, we have always lived far enough away that our extremely limited budget did not allow for visits to see this amazing woman we have all called Grandma.  In spite of that, she never stopped sending little things during holidays and such to remind us that she was thinking of us as well as messages relayed through the other family members.  I'll be the first one to admit (and you only have to look at how infrequently I post in this blog to know this for a fact) that I am horrible at maintaining long-distance communications, but still the holiday gifts and words of love would come for us and then for our children.  Even more striking to me was the kind of impact that her gestures would have on her family members (even the ones not directly on the receiving end), regardless of circumstances.

A few years ago, this incredible woman was diagnosed with a degenerative disease a great deal like Alzheimer's (the technical name escapes me at the moment), but instead of attacking the brain's memory center this attacks the brain's communication center.  As time has gone by, she has always remained very logical and precise...but her ability to communicate with those around her and to understand what others try to communicate with her has little by little disintegrated.  About a year ago, she reached a point where if she was thinking about you and wanted to convey it she would dial your phone number....and then listen silently to the voices on the other end for a time before simply hanging up.  But she would still do this, even for people like myself who she didn't know very well...because she still loves, regardless of how much communication there was left, and was determined to share that.

I know this is sad to hear about, and terrifying to imagine yourself going through it.  It has been an extraordinarily difficult thing for her family to go through with her...but that has been the kind of love they have shown for her.  At one point, she did move into a kind of nursing home for a time....but then she decided that she wanted to be home when things got worse.  So, loving children that they are, they moved her home to where she wished to be and then made arrangements so that one of her children was there 24/7 to help take care of everything.

Last week, this sweet woman took a turn for the worse.  She developed pneumonia, and hospice was called in.  But she had done her best to try and bring her entire family together for the Thanksgiving holiday, and they have taken it to heart.  We finally managed to find a way to get even my husband down to be with them all (though the kids and I had to stay here), and since yesterday they have been gathering.

Now this family is not exactly a peacefully co-existing family under incredibly good times (all those characters rubbing elbows sometimes slip and elbows are painful when they fly), and they have their own special dynamics.  But the interesting and remarkable thing to me has been watching them cope with each other and the situation....and continuing to be there regardless of bruised feelings or sore elbows.  Even this sweet woman's ex-husband is there with her, intensely holding her hand now that that is the only way of communicating that you are there which is recognized.  And they have continued to gather: children, spouses, grandchildren, boyfriends/girlfriends, step-children (some who barely knew her) and their children, and so on. 

Today is Thanksgiving....and so, we are all in our various places, waiting to hear the sad news that one so overflowing with love has gone while life moves on around us with feasting, family, and fun.  Yet the love of this woman is still reaching out even beyond just the family that has gathered and beyond her now non-existent ability to personally communicate it.  As I have been watching from afar, I have seen words of love for the family and particularly her begin to pour out in waves of encouragement and support, and with a great many memories being shared of funny, sad, frustrating, sweet, or painful moments when she was still reaching out to give that same love to every person who would let her.

So when I say that "this year Thanksgiving has taken on a new meaning for me" I am referring to the kind of love that has suddenly begun to shine and illuminate even some of the darkest corners of my heart (the ones everyone struggles with when they feel discouraged or hopeless).  Because this year, I am seeing the powerful, crashing love that I have been so incredibly blessed with in my life...and in the lives of my husband and children.  And I am giving thanks with a full heart and eyes brimming over, because while we may not have much in eyes of some....we do have an incredibly intense connection with God and family, and what could a person ever truly need more?

Jumbled Family Update

I know, I know...once again I've fallen behind.  Maybe it is time I took a slightly different approach to this: it should be an adventure to see if anyone even checks or reads this anymore since anyone who does will be pleasantly surprised by something I do sometimes?  Maybe? :D

Things have been crazy, as usual.  This summer has been filled mostly with working hard on clearing out as much excess as we can convince ourselves to, as well as re-structuring the business and how I approach getting things done.  The kids have done pretty well for themselves, though they are no doubt convinced that this has been the most boring time of their lives...I mean, we've even neglected to take them to the pool so far, and it is nearly the end of July already! Just kidding...

The boring side of this is that we once again got a double plot at the community garden, which has been even more successfully filled than in previous years...and it looks like we'll get more of a harvest too!  ("And they all cheered...yay...")  The kids have had lots of fun attempting to dig to Tibet in the sand box (not to mention testing how much sand Damon can bring home in his diaper), and Tia is thrilled that she was finally able to get some garden gloves so now she gets to help weed.  Several of the garden plots that surround us have been left empty this year (or allowed to go completely wild), so the kids have fun from time to time in helping clear out the plants that attempt to go to seed.  We are also working on getting all the weeds out of the community strawberry patch...though that made require a slightly buffer army than our little ones, we are going to take a game stab at it!  (Pictures to come, I'm sure...once we get all the weeds cleared! Hahahaha)

John and I have both had new callings given in the last week.  John is now serving as a ward missionary, and I was asked to be part of the Relief Society Enrichment Board.  Neither of us are entirely sure what all is entailed in these callings, but we are looking forward to finding out!  Oh, and two other exciting pieces of news: one: Damon hasn't had any qualms about going to nursery without Mom being there!  and two: Kieran is finally starting to work seriously on getting potty trained!  In truth, I'm most excited about Kieran (considering I've been trying to convince him to take this step for well more than a year now), but both boys are taking such big steps and I'm so excited for them...and us!

Anyway, that is the nutshell as far as my scattered brain can function right now.  I'm sure that the next time I post I'll either be much more coherent...I hope?  Have a lovely holiday weekend!

A Personal Blog for Rachel

So, I just wanted to issue an invitation to everyone who might or might not check in with this blog.  I am basically starting a personal blog connected with my business at www.RachelsFlowerPatch.blogspot.com where I will post all my personal stuff...in other words, this site is where I will post all my family things, but all the things like craft concepts, tips on recipes/food stuffs, gardening things, and personal experiences will be on that site.  I hope you will all forgive me and come check in regularly on the new site as I needed to find a way to keep updating more than one thing at once and this seemed to be the simplest method.  Please click here to be taken directly there, and please send along the info to anyone you might think would be interested...if you think they can stand keeping up with this little scrambled brain of mine, that is. ;}  I will probably try and keep things balanced between the sites as I am able but you all know how infrequently I have maintained this since I keep running out of time so it will probably be more in the nature of some double postings, though not many.  Can't wait to see what you think of what I've come up with so far!

It's a blob!

Yep, it's official! It is a very active and healthy blob that should finish baking (get this!) October 22nd. That's right, happy birthday to me and Caelen! I knew I shouldn't have had a doctor's appointment today of all days, but the impatient side of me just didn't want to wait. I promise, that really is the date the doctor gave me today. It is actually a little later than originally figured, and the actual due date that they are filing with the insurance company is a couple of days earlier so we don't have a fight on our hands when we try to schedule the surgery as the doc is a little worried about timing (I guess I had actually started labor before Kieran was delivered which he doesn't want to repeat because of complication issues), but I thought it was funny enough to tell you all this one! Happy April Fool's day!

New Family Member...

This is something that happened around the 20th of October:

No, we aren't pregnant. I am actually referring to a van that we are in the process of buying from my parents. It too is green, though I forgive it that. Tia has dubbed it "Sammy", and I absolutely love it! There is soooo much more room for everyone, plus easier access to the kids not to mention the fact that it actually has air-conditioning and cruise control! Oh, and did I mention all the extra room? It even has enough room that we can bring a couple extra kids along for the ride (friends, cousins, etc). Isn't that great?!

Update and Answer

Ok, so as bad as things sounded with Red, it isn't disastrous. I've gotta couple questions, so I'm going to just answer directly. Yes, I'm desperate for a car. No, we aren't stranded. It is a stinky situation...literally.

Basically, what it boils down to is this: we own(ed) two cars. One, my beloved cranky Red; the other is John's car (called Jade). Jade and I have an agreement...we each agree to despise the other and get on with life. The same day Red died we were actually buying a For Sale sign to post in the window of Jade as I'd finally succeeded in convincing John that we didn't actually want to keep the lousy thing, it would give us some badly needed money, and save us money on gas and insurance. Well, I was right. Apparently we really needed to narrow things down to one car for a little while. God just picked the one I didn't want. So now we are using Jade to putt around town for necessary errands and late appointments, and praying that our clothes and hair don't stink too badly as the exhaust in the car is having a few problems. To quote John, "Do you know, we really do putt around town...see! Putt, putt, putt..." I just hope that we don't hear a boom at the end of that!

Fortunately, there is a white light ahead. As luck would have it, my parents are selling their van. They are in the middle of a move from Illinois to Nevada and thus can't get the van to us for a few weeks at least, but then I'll finally have my sought after van. Something that all the kids (and a few friends) will be able to fit into at the same time. I know the van isn't the newest thing out there, but it will be able to get us through the next little bit while I look for a anxiously hoped for job and pay down some debts (gotta love student loans!!!), not to mention saving money to buy a new vehicle. And then, look out! I'm going car shopping with money in my pocket and stars in my eyes! (I just hope I'm not going to hit a cow pie...)

Saying Goodbye...

Well, it finally happened. Our wonderful friend, Red, has finally with a clunk and a grind given out. From my extremely limited understanding of such things, basically the pieces keeping the frame, engine, and drive axles connected broke in the back of the car (there are only 2 points of the car where these are placed: the front and back of the axle/drive line?). We finished everything, watching as our poor old car was badly hauled up on a flat bed tow truck (literally, the tow truck driver that was loading the car had a J-hook slip the first time he tried which sent the car rolling off the back of the truck and into the road...fortunately the light behind us was red so there weren't any cars in the path of disaster; the second attempt he didn't pay attention when we told him that the car wouldn't turn properly such that the right side of the car was hanging off the bed entirely; the third time he nearly lost the car completely as the J-hook was only attached to the front axle which was the only thing keeping the car frame and such all attached and it started to slip just as he was getting the whole thing in place properly...ugh, I know who I won't call if I get stuck but want to keep the car!). The last sight of the car was as it was being "taken for a ride" to the "great scrap heap" at the west end of town.

The truth is that I'm sad to see the car go. Big surprise, I know, but considering that we've had that car outlast us for much longer than any other we've ever owned, fits us all in without fighting the kids' seats, plus allows room to move stuff almost like a van or truck...I miss my car! It was 18 years old, with all the problems that come with age and more than 200,000 miles, but it pulled us through a lot...everything from family trips over many canyons and deserts, 3 kids, 3 moves, college, and all that comes with a busy family life. We miss you, Red!